With a eubstance of work that include the guitar case rocket - launcher in Desperado and the motorized lamia - staker in From Dusk til Dawn , it ’s obvious that film director Robert Rodriguez knows a matter or two about craft astonishing weapons that do n’t really exist ( although I wish they did ) . But now he ’s turning to the denizens of the Internet for help with his latest project .
He want you to tweet him your ideasfor the ultimate badass monster - slaying weapon @Rodriguez using the hashtag # KeepMoving ( you have until April 10 ) . If he likes your withering gimmick , it could be created in CG and be have in the final interpretation of Two Scoops , the upcomingProject Green Screen film he ’s making in junction with BlackBerry — and you ’ll be able to order your mother that all those days spend play videogames and watching sci - fi and horror movies has in conclusion paid off .
To help you get yourEl Wrayon , here are five weapon that do n’t actually exist , but should , presented in condescend order of awesomeness .
5. Waffle Cone Rocket Launcher
What looks like a simple trio of waffle cone dispenser is in fact a piece of super - destructive weaponry guaranteed to wipe out even the most obstinate of brute . The Waffle Cone Rocket Launcher unites three separate tubes packed with waffle conoid - shaped projectiles . The arrest is that these bad son are n’t packing two scoops of soft serve — they ’re loaded with the latest missile guidance technology and a warhead that explode on wallop . If the initial blast does n’t get them , then the rainbow - sprinkle shrapnel embedded in each retinal cone should aid finish the Book of Job , clear your day in the appendage . That ’s a winnings - win .
4. Two-Handed Plasma Battle-Axe
When it hail to sodding stopping big businessman in melee combat , the two - handed battle - ax has been one of the hunky-dory options since the Middle Ages . The only problem is it ’s not something you could dangle over your headway for hours on ending , unless you are somehulking Kurgan - esquewarrior with arm of Fe . Luckily , in our hypothetical future , no one has to worry about that .
Thanks to the tardy in plasm technology ( not the form used for televisions ) , it ’s potential to eliminate the thick treble - edge blades in favour of two unexampled , tiptop - hot blood plasma edges — allow any behemoth hunter to swing the big stick disregarding of sleeve size . The dual blades act as thermal knives , reaching a temperature of over 3,000 degrees Celsius , up to of cutting through even the thickest dragon hide while instantly cauterizing every bit of flesh in their backwash .
This killer weapon is also easily concealable , thanks to a telescoping shaft of light . you may much carry it in your scoop when Hell ’s minion give you the mean solar day off . If you love the odor of burning lusus naturae flesh in the cockcrow , this weapon was made for you . Vae Victis , indeed .
3. Sonic Scythe
Anyone who ’s ever play Capcom ’s classic Street Fighter 2 is probably familiar with military toughened guy Guile . His theme song move is the “ transonic boom , ” where he waves his subdivision and fires off a whirling dervish of sound that beelines toward his antagonist . That ’s cool and all , but it would be cool if it was possible to achieve the same effect by using an factual artillery , correct ?
That ’s where the Sonic Scythe arrive in . This two - handed arm works as a in full functional scythe , but with an append effect : it can store ambient sound that can then be unleashed as a crushing attack capable of shatter bone and bringing even the most flagitious behemoths to their knees , where they can pray for mercy that is in no way coming . practice it as an sickening weapon by aiming a direct - line blast at your target or swing the scythe in a round to create some breathing room when hem in by hordes of enemy .
2. Severed Heads on a Chain
Every monster hunting watch require something supernatural at their garbage disposal — and in that spirit , I give you the Severed Heads on a Chain . It ’s basically a gory updating of a chain whip ( opine Castlevania meets The Walking Dead ) . alternatively of a traditional tip , this weapon would allow you to draw the sever read/write head of your vanquished foes onto a 10 - foot titanium chain while the slavering skull keep chomping as if they still had a gut to fulfil . suppose the look on your opponent ’s look when a gaggle of zombified demon noggin lash through the air and coil themselves around the brute for a ghastly attack . Plus , it seduce for an intimidating style accessory when wear down draped around the torso ( bandoleer are so passe ) . Just be sure to fee them frequently so you do n’t become the next snack .
1. The Send-Them-Straight-to-Hell Gun
When you perfectly , positively , have to send every monstrosity in the area directly back to the intestine of Hades , accept no substitute for this high - powered musical composition of ordnance . This arm is the spin-off of a meeting between Vatican exorcists and a radical of unemployed Soviet Quantum Physicists — the holy and secular allied in a singular destination : pose evilness back in its place . This is the atomic option in any monster showdown . The last resort .
As Peter Parker ’s uncle Ben was fond of say , “ with great power come great responsibility . ” That ’s particularly dead on target with this throttle , which sports a futuristic shell housing a mini - reactor capable of produce inter - dimensional break . Firing the gun ( which is roughly the duration of a sawed - off shotgun , but significantly duncish to decent house the reactor ) requires huge amounts of DOE , and the ensuing crosscurrent in the quad - time continuum exerts an extreme gravitational pull — meaning everything in the direct neck of the woods of the launch portal will be give a one - path ticket verbatim to Hell . Monsters , female parent - in - jurisprudence , IRS agentive role … everything cash in one’s chips . Every pellet has to depend , but there ’s no traverse the weapon is the last word of honor in monster disintegration .
And there you have it — five entirely bizarre weapons I wish were real . Now it ’s prison term for you to off the drawing board and get up with some of your own idea . find out out more about Project Green Screen here , including other fashion to participate , then tweet @Rodriguez with your mind and the hashtag # KeepMoving to submit your awing arm idea and it could terminate up in the actual film . You have until April 10 to enter !
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QX7LrYvBok
involve some inspiration ? Listen to the gentleman’s gentleman himself babble out about that very conception .
Mike Brackenis a faculty writer atMovies.comand videogame reviewer forGameCritics.com . He spent two seasons as the Horror Geek on Comedy Central ’s amaze the Geeks .
“ send out - Them - Straight - to - Hell ” gun trope created by Josh Henson .
By Mike Bracken , the Horror Geek
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