What does the phrase “I love you” actually mean? It depends, says former monk Jay Shetty.
In a new episode ofRed Table Talk, actress and co-hostJada Pinkett Smithasks the author of the upcoming book8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, And Let It Goabout saying “I love you” and how it can impact relationships.
As Shetty explains in PEOPLE’s exclusive clip of the show — which also stars Pinkett Smith’s daughterWillow Smithand her motherAdrienne Banfield Norris— some people believe using the phrase indicates that a person wants to spend their life with someone, while others use the phrase much more loosely.
“The problem is, when someone says ‘I love you,’ you don’t stop to ask them ‘Wait wait wait, what does that mean?’ " he says.
Jordan Fisher
Shetty, who was previously a monk for three years in both India and Europe, said studies show that that men will say “I love you” in 88 days, on average, while women take 134 days to do the same.
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“It’s not that that person necessarily lied to you or misled you, they were just living up to their definition [of ‘I love you’],” Shetty says.
“So I’m not telling you to stop someone from saying ‘I love you.’ I’m saying, I hope that before you say that, there have been some conversations around, what does love mean to you?” he explains.
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Shetty spoke about his personal experience as a man in the dating world during aRed Table Talkepisode in May 2019. He admitted to doing “nice things” for women he dated “because it would make me feel better about myself.”
“I didn’t know if I was genuinely doing it for them or for me so they’d be like ‘Jay you’re amazing,'” he said at the time. “When you become a monk, shave your hair off, wear robes, nobody’s impressed anymore.”
The newest episode ofRed Table Talkpremieres Monday at 12 p.m. ET on Facebook Watch.
source: people.com
